Speaker 0 (0s): Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the true life podcast. It's Wednesday, right? Smack dab in the middle of the week. I hope everything's going well. I hope your partner, the person you love, or the person you hope to love is smiling at you. Hope the world is smiling at you. Hope the birds are singing. What do you want to talk about today? Well, let me tell you what I want to talk about, and then you can see if you might think it's interesting. I want to talk about the idea of attraction and more importantly, the instinct of attraction, the pheromones, the first glimpse love at first sight, translating slowly into a couple of first dates, maybe a first kiss.

What is it about this other person that drives you crazy? What is it about this other person that makes you nervous? What is it about this other person that causes your cheeks to swell with blood and you to have these borderline thoughts of passionate obscenity? It's a curious thing. It's a beautiful thing. It's an emotional thing. Perhaps even a scary thing.

As you get older, at least for me, the idea of what the initial attraction is, becomes more clear. It's a strange phenomenon. And as I get older, I have a different insight into what is happening. That's probably because the older you get, the more you realize there's a lot, you don't know, and you'll never know.

And it's because of these possibilities that you're allowed to begin thinking freely without the governors or the borders or the strict authorities, trying to keep your thoughts in a straight path. And here's one of my meandering thoughts. It seems to me that when people get married and have children, the daughter seems to take on more characteristics of the father and the son takes on more characteristics of the mother.

Now that's just my personal opinion and it's clearly biased. And it's just an observation from me and the families that I run in, the families that I see in the families I interact with mine included. So on some level, I think when you meet someone, be a pheromones or nonverbal cues, a man is looking for what his son will be like.

And a woman is looking for what her daughter will be like. And I think on some sort of unconscious level, the attraction you see in other people are traits and skills that you don't have. Thus, when you see the other person, the attraction is, wow, this is completes me. If I had this set of skills combined with my set of skills, I'd be much more effective.

I would be filling the blank work. It's really interesting for me is the idea of evolution and change and progression. If you take my idea of the daughter, taking more traits from the father and the son taking more traits from the mother and assuming that they're responsible marriages and the parents stay together.

I think if you just run that a few generations, you begin to get a more whole complete human being. The daughter takes on a little bit more aggressive side of the father. And if you look back in history, you know, prior to the women's liberation movement or women in the workplace or women getting more degrees than men, you know, you can see the more masculine side of the woman emerging and you could see the more feminine side of the man emerging.

Obviously this is just all my observations. However, you can see a more complete individual emerging. And it seems to me that it's such a beautiful thing to run it forward a few generations and understand is it possible for a group of people to be more advanced, to be more evolved?

I think so. And then be clear. I am not more evolved. There's I think there are families that while everybody has problems, I think that genetics alone have caused some people to be way further, along than other people. There's incredible book by Dr. Thomas Verny that I've been going over and reading it's called the embodied mind. And in this book, he speaks upon memories for me, nation being passed down from generation to generation to generation.

Let me give you an example of, let's say that there's a major tragedy. Let's say that my grandfather was in a, was in war and he was one of these guys that decided to risk everything and jump out into the frigid waters of the Pacific on a freezing day, on the far east to save an enemy soldier that was drowning, that trauma, that decision becomes encoded in his genetics.

It gets passed on to my dad. It gets passed on to me. So when it comes time for my kid, let's say that I find myself in a situation like that, or my daughter finds herself in a situation like that. Chances are that that line of genetics would be more likely to jump out and try to save something regardless of the consequences.

So you can say that certain types of behavior are genetic. And I realized that that can be a taboo subject to talk about. It may be taboo to talk about, but let's look at some reasons or some evidence to support that status. A lot of women tend to tend to gravitate towards a man with a lot of status. And I think that gets confused with money or power.

And I believe that they're all somewhat tied together. So I just call them all status the same way that a man Gravatar gravitates towards having or pushing for that status, maybe his, his motivation to get status is so that he can have or choose from what he thinks is the most attractive women. And for the woman's point of view, the status is a symbolic representation of a life that can be lived well lived well for her children as well.

If we look at human nature and relationships in off of this type of lens or through this type of lens, you can get a good idea of what evolution is trying to do. No, there's a few thorns on that. Rose Bush. Let's say that the man becomes incredibly wealthy in his high status by being a criminal.

How does a woman factor that in? Does she say, wow, this guy's got a giant mansion. He's a businessman. He would be a good father, but he's a criminal. And I hear you look, we're all criminals to some degree. And maybe that's where it comes down to morality. Maybe that's where a woman has to choose. Okay, it's going to make a lot of money, but he is a piece of shit. I think that's where a lot of relationships probably go wrong.

Like a lot of guys, I see, they seem like nice guys, and they have a lot, but how did you get it? Right? Cause if you have a ton, if you have a lot, but you embezzled a lot of money or you get indicted for stealing taxpayer money, you know that code of ethics that you use to get that particular set of That particular set of things, that system you use to climb up the ladder of status while it may have helped you climb up that wall.

I think it's the same set of steps. That'll force you to walk away from your marriage, walk away from your commitments. And I realized that most people have their price tags. I realized that put into a situation where there are no good options. Most people choose the lesser of two evils. That's why we, at least in my opinion, why we have the story of the hero, the mythologies, the king Arthur's court, the stories from some of the Navajo tribes or the American Indians, the mythologies of the Greeks, you know, it's these stories that every now and then you get to see them play out in real life.

One that stays fresh in my mind that you may or may not remember me being 47. I remember the Tiananmen square massacre. For those of you that don't know there was a giant protest by students and people in China, they brought in the military to squash the protest. They rolled in this line of tanks. The tanks came rolling in and one man walks out in front of the tanks. Three tanks in a straight line.

One guy walks out with his briefcase and stands right in front of him. Daring the tank like tanks are going, going, going this guy's walking, walking, walking, and they meet at the joint of what would be an L formation. So he's walking tanks are coming. He gets directly in front of the tank and the tank stops and the tanks behind him stop. It just goes to show you the power of one.

Think about the connection there. There's a man driving that tank. He looks through the sites and he sees another man standing in front of him. He knows if he hits the gas, he'll run that guy over and just turn them to hamburger. In fact, that's what this, his superiors want him to do much like all multinational corporations. They care. No, they no longer care about an individual. They no longer care about something called a worker. A worker is a widget.

They no longer care about a person. They care about a mythical idea called productivity. And I think it's relevant. Taking away all the humanity from us as a human species, it allows for some people's status to rise like a shooting star only backwards because the shooting start falling around. So like as the shooting star be shooting for maybe like a rocket, how about that?

And in some ways it's super easy for someone who has decided I am going to send people out to die so that I can benefit from their labor. And I will take the money from their labor, all for me. And now this person, this board of directors, this CEO, this government official this individual who has decided to become corrupt by taking no chances, except the chance that the people below him will figure out what he's doing Has become a whole class of Kleptocratic technocrats.

And if you're a man or a woman with a daughter and your daughter sees these people, Hey, look at this guy in this nice suit driving. His nice car seems like a nice guy. What does he do? Oh, he's an executive. What do you mean? Well, he makes executive decision. Hmm. That seems to me, I think an executive should be called a weasel. Like what is an executive?

What is a manager? Aren't a good quote. One time that says, what's the difference between a manager and a leader. A manager is someone who does things, right? And a leader is someone who does the right thing. You see, I believe that surrounded by all of us are all these potential pitfalls calling the seven deadly sins, or call them temptation, avarice or greed, Slav, or selfishness.

All of these paths, the lead to an illusion have a good life. They are the illusion of wealth. They are the illusion that life is easy, but I know plenty of people. And I'm sure you do too, have been seduced by these things and have found the illusion of life, the illusion of the easy life to be filled with demons.

Let me take a recent example. Let's revisit the whole will Smith Chris rock situation. Both of these men have the illusion of everything. They have the illusion of being wealthy and I'm not using wealth in the terms of pure finance. They have that too, but they have the illusion of wealth in that have a good life.

They're held in high regard. There are the best awards show. They are at the top of their field and they are held up to be maybe not mentors, but they are held up in front of you and me and our children and our country and the world to be people worthy of praise. Well, let's take a look at both of them.

Just start with Chris rock. Here's a guy who used to work at red lobster, pulled himself up by his bootstraps, made a way for himself. Super funny guy, super quick witted. What got him, at least in my opinion to the top was his ability to see situations differently. Not only to see them differently, but to find the humor in them. And every one of you know, someone who's funny, you know, the funniest guy is the funniest guy is the person when they're getting yelled at and someone's talking shit to them or being mean, they fire back with a Quip or a observation that is so funny.

Everyone around starts laughing and the person they're doing it to either has to start laughing and go, you know what? I'm sorry, I'm being ridiculous. Or the person gets super mad and they want to fight or best yet is so humiliated that they run away like that. To me, isn't a phenomenal comedian. Like they use their words to paint a masterpiece. So that that person realizes how dumb they are. That's funny.

And Chris rock used to be that guy. He used to be him, but what happened to Chris rock? He had some great tours and then is in a weird, you get in your forties and his wife leaves him. I don't know how his relationships are with his kids, but whenever you get divorced, look, you did something wrong. Maybe you changed. Maybe your partner changed, but the kids didn't ask for that.

And when you get divorced, it seems to me that, you know, I can only imagine when you go from being a regular person to becoming a multimillionaire, that you change, your relationship changes the way you feel about your partner changes. Especially if one person has, if it happens to Chris, let's just use him as an example, because he's a public figure. I don't feel bad talking shit about him. You become a millionaire. And now the person you're with maybe feels a little bit insignificant because they didn't help you build that.

Even though they did, they, I mean, you wouldn't be who you are unless you had that person with you from the beginning. But that person you're with probably just to feel some resentment, because you're always out, you're touring, you're doing all these things. You're surrounded by all these people. All, all these people are talking about, Hey, how great your husband is or how great your wife is. That's going to create some animosity. The kids start seeing you doing something in your wife, doing some living separate lives. And pretty soon there's a chasm. So deep between you.

It's not even worth being together. I don't know if Chris rock cheat on his wife or what happened. He did make a movie called. I think I love my wife where he pretends to cheat or something. So take that for what it's worth, which was right around the time he was getting divorced, right? So I'm not ascribing blame to anybody. I realize how difficult the situation probably is, but it just lends credence to my, my analysis, that the illusion of wealth, the climbing, the ladder of status, you see, you climb this ladder up against this wall, your whole life.

And you finally get to the top and you realize the ladders against the wrong wall. You look over and there's nothing. It's just desert. You look back to where you came from and there's your family walking away, your wife, your kids, there's green grass, your little house, your dog, it's all going away. So you can jump over the wall and be in the desert. So yeah, Chris rock goes like, would you want your kid?

Would you want your kid to go out in front of the tons of people and just say mean things about other people 'cause look, I love humor. As much as the next person, I once heard an idea that you can't have humor without pain, right? That's why so many comedians are usually so messed up because they just found a way to deal with different pain. They found a way to, to find a horrific thing happened in, in make it bearable.

Usually the greater the pain, the funnier, the comedian. So imagine that though, you go up there, you've been doing it for 30, 40 years. I don't know, 25 years over long. He's been doing comedy and they start cracking jokes about people, but you start, you start backing off, right? Oh, I don't want to make fun of this person too much. Oh, I don't want to make fun of that person too much. Right? Like in that exchange, he makes a fun about Jadas hair.

Like she, I guess she has a disease or something free and bold, like who fucking cares, bitch. My fucking kid died. And you're worried about your fucking hair. Fuck you take a fucking joke. Take a joke. Let's look at her. That girl fucked her son's friend. She's banging dudes in front of her fucking husband. Does anybody think that that's fucking right? We're going to get to them. I'm going to get to that side of the family.

This one, throw that out there real fast. So the mistakes, I think Chris rock makes is he goes soft on his jokes. Cause he don't want to hurt people's feelings anymore. See, he's already made it. He's got a more fire left. So he goes flat on his jokes. Will Smith walks up socks and like a bitch, boom hits him right in the face. And he stands there and does nothing, nothing. But if you watch the clip, a lot of people watch that clip.

And we're like, oh, is it real? Is it fake? What I saw was him almost fire back. A super funny joke will Smith hits him. And then he's like, you know, he says like two words. And then he stops like that. To me was the old Chris rock dying. That's the comedian. That was the last part of the Promethian flame that lived inside him going out. That was like, someone just blew out the flame.

He didn't have the balls. He didn't have the courage. He didn't have the strength to protect himself. Instead he stopped and he looked around and he goes, man, if I say this joke, I can't have this Oscar. If I say this joke, I can't be around these people. If I say this joke, people won't want me to work anymore. I'm going to hold back. And anybody who knows that if you've been in a fight, you've been in a match. If you've been in a situation where everything's on the line and you hold back, you hesitate, you lose, you lose.

That's the equivalent of Mike Tyson, not training for Buster Douglas. It's the equivalent of Roberto Duran saying no Moss. These are all times Ramers are losing the Larry Holmes. Tommy Morrison losing the Ray Mercer. These are all times of people that you see the flame go out and it's sad. It's sad, but there's a reason behind it.

You went down this path of illusion, you climb the ladder that was up against a wall that you thought on the other side was paradise. The grass is greener over there. Nope. Not at all. Same thing. When will Smith, right? Let's look at this guy. Here's a guy that comes from Philadelphia. I think will Smith is probably, he seems incredibly intelligent to me. I've heard him talk a lot. And he has some pretty astute observations about life and patterns and how to live your life.

But let's, let's look at his life. Sometimes. I think the world allows people to rise and be in the public eye. And I think that's part of being a celebrity part of making this deal about getting so much means that you're going to be a person that is looked upon by everybody. If you want to be a role model, be careful what you wish for. So here's a guy that rises up fresh prince of Bel-Air super funny show, tackles, racism, tackles all these issues that are really impressive.

And I think you should be commended for that. And then somewhere along the way you get caught, right? This guy is just like a rocket man. TV shows, rap songs, incredibly charismatic, incredibly intelligent has a couple of kids with a girl that it's definitely crazy. But here's what I, you know what I tell my wife, my wife tells me all the time, Georgia crazy.

I said, well, who, what kind of person would marry a crazy person? You think about that? So I think his wife's out of control. She's a lunatic. So what does that like that by definition makes him a lunatic. See the person you're with is like your ambassador. And you should think about that. If you're with somebody, you don't like these things about them. What does that say about you? Because at one point you must've found them attractive. And if you found them attractive, here we are. First here we are full circle.

If you found those things attractive, what does that say about you? Some self-reflection that needs to be done there. Look at his kids. Like, you know, looking at how they came up. His son is on the cover of like Vogue magazine, wearing a dress. What? Hey, go ahead. But I'm just saying as a father, like, how did you get there?

How'd you get there, man. There's some really odd articles about the way their family is designed, the rules they have for their family. And I'm not saying you can't have rules for your family that are not traditional, but you should be cautious of breaking tradition in that there's a reason. It's a tradition. I'm not saying you can't rise above everything by being untraditional.

You can. But when you throw tradition out the window, you throw out time, tested rituals, ceremonies, ideas, pathways, all these things that have gotten so many people to a spot where they're proud of. You know, if you go hiking, a lot of the times, you'll come to a sign that says, you know, travel at your own risk.

And that's kind of like a metaphor for life. We should all do that. So imagine being will Smith and you driving around in limos and everyone tells you how great you are, but you do crazy shit. When you go on television and you tell people your wife is having sex with somebody else. Hey, look at this. This is awesome. This is the highest form of love. Really? That's the highest form of love. Are you sure?

Maybe to him? It is, but it doesn't seem like he's in love. It doesn't seem like either one of them are in love, but it seem like their children are being loved. So what I think you saw is a man coming to a point in his life where everything he thought he knew was wrong. All these ideas about what it takes, all these ideas about who his family is, all these idea about what his family is about, who he is about, what his wife was about, what his kids can do.

I think what you saw was that whole world breaking down on that person. I think what you saw was will Smith realizing he probably would have been better off in life if he would have taken a different path. I think what you saw was will Smith hearing his father's voice, you going down the wrong path.

I think what you saw was will Smith's mother's voice in his head like son, the fuck are you doing? And like so many men like the prodigal son, you guys don't know what you talking about. I know what I'm doing. And what you saw was the return of the prodigal son. What you saw was will Smith breaking down. He hasn't returned yet to reality because he's still got so much money. He still got all these crutches around him.

And I think what you saw there too, is a metaphor for our country. Like look at these two guys. These are the role models we have. These are the people in our life that we show our kids. Look, it's a sad day when those are the people winning awards. It's a sad day when that's what we have come to, it might be a better metaphor to look at it like a wake-up call.

Maybe that's an alarm clock,

Speaker 5 (31m 53s): BOM, BOM, BOM

Speaker 0 (31m 55s): Pump. These are the dummies in charge.

Speaker 5 (31m 57s): Baba.

Speaker 0 (31m 59s): These are the people in power

Speaker 5 (32m 0s): BOM, BOM, BOM, BOM.

Speaker 0 (32m 2s): These are the people with status. Really? Really these people look at them, look at him. Would you want your daughter to marry either one of those men, would you want your son to be either one of those men? Those men are failures. They failed as fathers. They failed as husbands. They failed as leaders.

They failed as mentors they've failed at everything important in their life. Sure. They have a nice suit. They have nice cars. They have a nice house. They have people around them, the tellin how awesome they are, but their failures in the game of life, they have failed and they have failed. Every buddy that has ever looked up to them, it brings me back to status.

It brings me back to attraction. You can see how people would be attracted to them. Like I could see how women would be a try. Imagine Chris rock after a show, going back. How many single women do you think throw themselves at that guy? Same thing. When will Smith, how many women want to be with that guy? After he comes out of his Ali premiere, you have to ask yourself why status at some point in time, status overrides everything else.

If you have status as a man, you can be the most unscrupulous horrible low-life piece of shit. That's a fact of life to every man out there who is a father. It's important. You tell your kid that if you have a daughter, you have a son it's important to point out all these flaws.

Look at them. It's important to live your life in love with the relationship you're in, because ultimately you're going to see Chris rock will Smith their kids. You can do the same thing. And that's the trap. That is the trap of evolution. It's the trap of going down the wrong path.

It is the genetic epigenetic phenomenon, the laws of attraction, like a moth to a flame that wants to be one done. Be thankful for what you have in your life. Be thankful for who you have in your life. And when you hear the call of adventure, take it, but be careful.

Take it, but be careful, cautiously optimistic. I realize that a lot of people in life climb the ladder of success only to realize that the ladder is up against wrong wall. If you have your freedom, if you have your health, then you have everything. Don't be seduced by the flashy jacket or the pretty smile, right? Wasn't it.

who said so much to tell this to Kanye west, never trust a big button, a smile, right? Kanye. That's what I got for you guys. I love you. I hope your day is going well. I hope you take time to look around your life and see how lucky you are. I hope you take time to not dig into the salacious headlines. And if you do, I hope you see them like me. I hope you see him as sad stories, not as something that is salacious or fun, but something that is sad.

Something that is a direct reflection of the degradation of our society. And for guys that don't have a whole lot of status, think about it. You're way better than those guys. You're way better than somebody who has the illusion of status. Somebody who gets up and goes to work every day, somebody who gets up and build something for themselves and does not allow themselves to be distracted with the piece of meat.

Someone who can understand the sort of Gnostic ideas of not letting your emotions run your world. I think that that to me is a better world and none of us are perfect. I get it. Not trying to be harsh on anybody. However, I think as an individual, we should be careful of passing judgment.

However, you and you alone have the right to judge what you want your life to be. And what is a good life for you? There are important things to think about as a mother, as a father, you're a leader, you're a role model, regardless of what kind of car you drive or where you live. You are a role model. You are a mentor. The words you use are important, the things you say, your actions, your ideas, your relationships, these are the real long-term wrongs of status.

That's what I got for you today, ladies and gentlemen, I hope your day continues to be as beautiful as the smile on my wife's face. Let's get up and get at them all. Loha.